Common Myths About Couples Counseling
Updated: Oct 24
People often associate couples counseling with highly problematic relationships. It might seem as though only couples who are on the brink of divorce or are already separated are in counseling. But this is a myth.
The truth is that couples counseling is for all types of couples, no matter how strong the relationship is or how little the partners struggle with major conflicts. The misconception that couples counseling is only a last resort for relationships that are beyond repair sometimes hinders couples from reaching out for support.
5 Common Myths Surrounding Couples Therapy
The negative associations people have with couples therapy are often based on misconceptions and stigma. Let's take a look at five common myths about couples counseling, dispelling each as we go. We'll see that this type of therapy can actually be helpful for just about anybody in a relationship.
Myth#1: Therapy is only for couples who are considering divorce or a breakup.
One of the most common myths about couples counseling is that it is only for married couples who are considering divorce. It's often seen as a last attempt or effort to make things good and right again.
In reality, couples therapy can benefit couples in any stage of a relationship, from dating to marriage. The goal of therapy isn't to have couples end their relationship, break up, or divorce. Success in couples therapy is about finding outcomes that benefit both partners and allow them to live authentic and fulfilling lives.
Myth#2: Therapy is only for weak people or relationships.
No matter how strong you and your relationship are, counseling can help make you stronger. A common myth about couples therapy is that it is only for individuals or relationships that are broken or weak. This couldn't be further from the truth.
It takes strength to want to dig deeper into your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Having a better understanding of yourself and your partner will allow you to connect on a deeper level and encourage a robust, lasting relationship.
Myth#3: A therapist will pick sides.
The point of getting the perspective of a third party isn't to find out who is right and who is wrong. There are no sides when it comes to couples counseling. A therapist is there to help you and your partner express and process your emotions. Their goal is to help protect your relationship, which means protecting the best interest of both you and your partner, not choosing sides.
Myth#4: Therapy is too expensive.
Another thought that deters people from going to therapy is the associated cost. Reducing spending in another area of life in order to improve your mental health and the health of your relationship may seem like a big ask.
It's important to work with your insurance to see if they will cover any of the costs for your sessions. There are often financial solutions that take a little research to uncover. Also, consider your perspective on therapy. Remember that the cost is an investment in yourself and your well-being.
Myth#5: Therapy takes too long.
Another common misconception about therapy is that it takes too long to see progress. While couples can choose to go to therapy for longer periods, couples therapy tends to be a shorter process.
The goal of therapy is to give couples the necessary tools to grow their relationship in a healthy way. Couples typically attend between six and twelve sessions. They can choose to continue to work together in a therapy setting or in their own home environment.
Three More Myths Worth Clearing Up
Myth #6: Our problems are too big to fix.
Couples often arrive feeling like they have tried everything. While no therapist can promise a particular outcome, many couples find that having a neutral third person helps them see old patterns in a new way. Starting with small, specific goals can make big problems feel more manageable.
Myth #7: Only one person is the problem.
Relationship patterns usually involve both partners, which is why the work is shared. That does not mean blame is split evenly or that harmful behavior is excused. It means the focus is on the cycle between you instead of on finding a villain.
Myth #8: We have to be ready to talk about everything right away.
Your therapist will help you set the pace. The first sessions are usually about getting to know your relationship and what you want to change. You will not be pushed to share more than you are ready to, and you can always ask your therapist to slow down.
What Couples Therapy Looks Like
Most couples meet weekly or every other week for about an hour. Your therapist will ask about your history, listen to each of you, and help you identify the patterns that keep you stuck. You may be given small practices to try at home. Learn more about our couples counseling in Austin.
How to Bring It Up With Your Partner
If you are thinking about couples therapy but your partner is hesitant, start by sharing what you hope for rather than what you want to fix. Something like "I want us to feel closer" lands differently than a list of problems. Offer to attend a consultation together, ask what worries them, and be open to the answers. Many people feel nervous at first, and that is normal. You might also share this article, or one of the other posts on our blog, as a gentle conversation starter. If your partner is not ready, individual sessions focused on the relationship are another way to begin. Starting small is still starting.
How to Know If You Are Ready
You may be ready for couples therapy if:
You want things to be different, even if you are not sure how.
Both of you are willing to show up and try.
You feel stuck in the same conversations.
You want to strengthen your relationship before problems grow.
If you are unsure, a consultation call is a low-pressure way to ask questions.
Practical Questions
We offer sessions in person in Downtown Austin and virtually across Texas. Select clinicians accept Aetna and EAP benefits (Lyra and Journey), and our other clinicians are private pay and can provide superbills for possible out-of-network reimbursement. Reach out for current rates, or contact us to get started.
Couples Therapy and You
The above myths shouldn't prevent you from seeking the additional support you and your partner deserve. You don't need to be a weak person in a bad relationship to get wonderful results from couples therapy. If you're interested in learning more and exploring couples therapy, reach out today to set up an initial consultation.
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