Supporting a Loved One with an Eating Disorder: Essential Tips for Families and Friends
- Grace Dowd
- Sep 4
- 6 min read
Supporting a loved one through an eating disorder can feel confusing, overwhelming, and heartbreaking. Many parents, partners, and friends don’t know how to help—or even where to begin.
At Grace Therapy and Wellness, we offer individual therapy, family therapy, and parent coaching to help strengthen your support system and empower you in your loved one’s recovery journey.
Together, we’ll explore meaningful ways you can show up and support them on the path toward healing and lasting recovery.
Understanding Eating Disorders
While media portrayals have created a narrow and often misleading image of how eating disorders present, the reality is far more complex. Eating disorders can take many forms—including Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge Eating Disorder, Orthorexia, and others. Despite the differences in presentation, a common thread among all eating disorders is a disrupted relationship with food, the body, and emotional experiences.
Unfortunately, widespread myths and misconceptions about eating disorders can delay early intervention, limit access to appropriate support and resources, and invalidate the lived experiences of those struggling.
Myth: Eating disorders only affect adolescent girls.
Fact: Eating disorders do not discriminate based on age, gender identity, or background. Approximately 28.8 million American adults will experience an eating disorder in their lifetime—and about 25% of those individuals identify as male.
Myth: Eating disorders are a choice or just a way to seek attention.
Fact: Eating disorders are serious mental health conditions. While there are a number of contributing risk factors—such as genetics, environment, trauma, and personality traits—developing an eating disorder is never a choice.
Myth: My loved one just needs to eat more, and that will fix everything.
Fact: Although nutritional rehabilitation is a critical component of recovery, eating disorders are multifaceted. Effective treatment also addresses underlying factors such as trauma, mood and anxiety symptoms, identity, and emotional regulation.
How to Recognize When a Loved One is Struggling
Recognizing when a loved one is struggling with an eating disorder isn’t always straightforward. While there are common warning signs, each person’s experience is unique and may not look the way you expect. As a support person, becoming familiar with the different ways eating disorders can show up—and remembering that each struggle is deeply personal—is a crucial first step toward providing meaningful support.
Because early intervention greatly improves recovery outcomes, being able to recognize signs of concern is one of the most valuable ways you can help. These signs often appear across three areas: emotional, physical, and behavioral.
Emotional Signs
Withdrawing from friends, family, and social activities
Heightened anxiety or panic around food, eating, or body image
Feelings of shame or disgust after eating
Constant preoccupation with dieting, body shape, or food content
Persistent sadness, hopelessness, or symptoms of depression
Physical Signs
Noticeable changes in weight (loss, gain, or frequent fluctuations)
Ongoing fatigue or low energy
Dizziness or fainting episodes
Sensitivity to cold temperatures
Decline in dental or overall physical health
Behavioral Signs
Avoiding meals or social events involving food
Strict rules about what, when, or how food is eaten
Obsessively tracking calories, exercise, or ingredients
Frequently skipping meals or eating in secret
Regular trips to the bathroom immediately after eating
Practical Ways to Offer Support
Families and support people often feel overwhelmed—unsure of what to say, how to help, or fearful of saying the wrong thing and making matters worse. While this is natural, avoiding the conversation altogether can leave your loved one feeling even more isolated. These tips can help you approach the conversation in a compassionate, thoughtful way.
Start with Open, Judgment-Free Communication
The foundation of support is listening without judgment. Even if you don’t fully understand the eating disorder, you can still seek to understand your loved one’s experience. Stay open, ask gentle questions, and remind them that your concern comes from a place of care—not criticism.
Tips for Compassionate Communication
Avoid food judgments. Don’t label foods as “good” or “bad,” “healthy” or “unhealthy.” Reinforce food neutrality instead.
Remind them they are not alone. Eating disorders can feel deeply isolating—your reassurance matters.
Ask, don’t assume. Try: “How can I support you right now?” instead of guessing their needs.
Respect treatment recommendations. Leave therapeutic, medical, and nutritional guidance to the professionals—these plans are tailored specifically to your loved one.
Avoid weight and body comments. Refrain from mentioning calories, numbers, body size, or appearance—yours or anyone else’s.
Encouraging Treatment with Compassion
Seeking treatment is one of the bravest steps someone with an eating disorder can take, but it can also feel overwhelming and frightening. Encourage treatment gently and consistently while still giving your loved one a sense of choice. For example, you might:
Express your concern for their health and well-being.
Offer to research treatment centers together.
Volunteer to drive them to an appointment if that feels supportive.
Your role is not to “fix” the eating disorder but to walk alongside your loved one with patience, empathy, and steady encouragement.
Supporting While Protecting Your Own Well-Being
Eating disorders can touch nearly every area of a loved one’s life—and walking alongside them can feel overwhelming at times. To be a steady source of support, it’s essential to maintain your own well-being. This often means setting healthy boundaries with your loved one and practicing intentional self-care.
When support people neglect their own needs, it often leads to burnout, frustration, or hopelessness. By practicing self-care, you’re not only protecting your own health—you’re also showing your loved one that balance and boundaries are part of a healthy life. This models resilience and demonstrates that it’s possible to care for others while still caring for yourself.
Boundaries to Consider
Recognize your own capacity
It’s okay to tell your loved one when you’re not available in the moment. Protecting your energy allows you to continue supporting them in the long run.
Be aware of triggers
Identify which topics may feel difficult for you and decide if they need to be off-limits in conversation.
Take breaks
Stepping back at times is both okay and healthy—for you and your loved one. Recharging ensures you can show up with compassion and patience.
Release responsibility for recovery
Remember: you are not responsible for their recovery. Your role is to support—not facilitate or control—the healing process.
Supporting someone through an eating disorder is a journey, and recovery can take time. Prioritizing your own self-care is not selfish—it’s necessary. This might include:
Attending therapy or joining a support group for caregivers
Leaning on friends, family, or a trusted community for encouragement
Creating space for hobbies, rest, and joy in your own life
Recovery does not happen overnight. Because the process can be long and challenging, caring for yourself as a support person is just as important as caring for your loved one. When you are grounded and cared for, you can offer the love, patience, and steadiness your loved one needs.
How Therapy Can Help Families Heal Together
At Grace Therapy and Wellness in Austin, our team provides individual therapy, family therapy, and parent coaching. Whether you’re in Central Texas or joining us virtually, we’re here to support you and your loved one in the recovery journey.”
Individual therapy offers a safe space to process the personal feelings, fears, and experiences that often come with supporting someone in recovery. It allows each person to explore their own emotions and strengthen their ability to show up with compassion and resilience.
Because eating disorders often affect the entire family system, family therapy can be an invaluable resource for long-term healing. Together, families can learn to improve communication, navigate difficult but necessary conversations, and grow in their ability to support their loved one while maintaining their own well-being.
Parent coaching provides practical guidance for parents and caregivers who want to better understand eating disorders and how to support recovery. This work often includes learning how to set healthy boundaries, respond to challenges with empathy, and encourage treatment in a sustainable, supportive way.
Recovery from an eating disorder is not only possible—it’s real and within reach. With the right professional support system, your loved one can begin to heal their relationship with food, their body, and themselves.
At Grace Therapy and Wellness, our compassionate team of trained therapists is here to walk with you and your loved one through the recovery journey, offering guidance, encouragement, and care every step of the way.
Contact us today to take the first step toward healing, lasting recovery, and freedom from the impact of an eating disorder.
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