6 Tips to Coregulation in Parenting
Updated: Jun 20
Parenting is a wonderful journey that can be full of experiences of love, joy, happiness, and also many difficulties. One of the foundational blocks of parenting that leads to raising healthy and well-adjusted individuals is through coregulation. Coregulation is a term that refers to an experience that begins from the moment we first become parents. It includes the process through which caregivers offer their own abilities of self-regulation to assist their children in regulating their emotions, behavior, and physical responses.
Coregulation is a term and concept that primarily comes from attachment theory, which illuminates the need for healthy connection and bonds between a child and their caregiver. Coregulation includes an interactive relationship between child and parent, in which the caregiver offers emotional attunement and support. This offers the opportunity for children to learn self-regulation skills over time through the caregivers support and modeling. Coregulation occurs from infancy throughout adolescence.
At its core, coregulation involves parents helping their children navigate and regulate their emotions, manage stress, and develop appropriate social behaviors. It helps children learn to recognize and understand their emotions while providing a safe and supportive environment for their growth and development.
The Importance of Coregulation
Effective coregulation has numerous benefits for children. It promotes emotional intelligence, resilience, and self-control, enabling them to navigate life's challenges more effectively. When children experience secure coregulation, they develop a greater sense of trust and confidence in themselves and their caregivers. Additionally, coregulation contributes to the development of healthy relationships and effective communication skills, which are essential for success in various aspects of life.
Practical Tips for Encouraging Coregulation
1. Validation: Foster an emotionally healthy environment through encouraging your child to express their emotions and validate their emotions as you listen. You will help your child learn to identify their emotions as you help them to label what they are feeling and that these emotions are okay.
2. Co-Regulated Breath Work: You can assist your child in regulating through deep-breathing techniques. If you've seen Daniel The Tiger, then you know he always breathes and counts to 4 when he's upset! Deep breathing can help to calm our nervous system down when we are anxious or angry. This is a great opportunity to model for our child appropriate ways to cope with our emotions.
3. Modeling Self-Regulation: Modeling is our greatest tool as parents. Children learn by observing, which is why we have to learn to practice what we are teaching them and encouraging them to do. Model for your children healthy ways of regulating yourself and naming it for them. Whether this is through deep breathing, exercise, or something else. Demonstrate for them healthy ways of coping and problem-solving.
4. Predictability and Consistency: Consistent routines and boundaries help provide children with a sense of safety and stability. Predictable scheduels and environments provide a safe space for children to learn how to regulate their emotions.
5. Empathy and Connection: You can foster an emotionally strong connection with your child through offering understanding and validation of their experiences and emotions. Try to remember that they are young and this is their first experience with learning how to regulate their emotions.
6. Teach Coping Skills: Teaching your child coping skills is best done through modeling, but you can also encourage them to utilize constructive skills for regulating their emotions. This can be done through arts and crafts, writing, physical movement, mindfulness, and more.
Coregulation is foundational in parenting and raising emotionally healthy individuals. By modeling healthy emotional regulation, parents begin to equip and lay the foundation for lifelong self-regulation skills. Through empathy, consistency, and modeling, parents can create nurturing environments that foster strong bonds and teach children the importance of emotional regulation. By prioritizing coregulation, parents equip their children with the tools they need to navigate life's challenges with confidence and emotional intelligence.